Birding with a Threenager

Three going on thirteen, right? Just as I needed to adapt my birding to a newborn, then a toddler, I am now dealing with a whole new animal: the threenager.

The mental leaps she has gone through in the last year are mind-boggling. I used to think of her as the velociraptor in Jurassic Park learning to open the door; now she’s a pretty much a cunning tactician, negotiating, playing emotions, employing every trick she knows and learning new strategies as she goes.

She’s not just getting smarter. Now she remembers things, like how the playground is right over there. She now also has the confidence and leg strength to run off and make it to the playground on her own.


Places like the zoo, which were a perfect place to bird with a kid previously, are less strategic for birding. She knows what the zoo holds. She yells, “Pa, go! Go! Rhinos!” Why are we just standing here when there are rhinos over there?

It’s not bad to bird with a threenager, of course. It requires me to bird strategically and really find places and activities that keep her engaged.

One of the best ways to keep this threenager engaged while I bird is to indulge her interest in finding a good walking stick. After I scan to make sure there is not poison ivy within her grasp, she focuses on the sticks. She has little loyalty to the sticks she chooses so her search is not a one-time activity. Having a good stick helps with another way to keep her engaged: playing in a puddle. With a good puddle and a stick, I can shift most of my attention to finding birds.

Another way I have found that works with my threenager is to take a trail that has a high number of stopping points with fairly short distances in between. We sit down for a mini-picnic at each stopping point; while she snacks or rests, I direct my attention to the surrounding areas for birds.

Another way to keep my threenager engaged is to let her play with the camera. She played with the camera long before she could take pictures, but now she can actually capture images, especially with a phone camera.

Despite the challenges of a threenager, one of the most rewarding aspects is that she now makes observations and shares them aloud.

“Someone put their trash here. Why they do that?”

“There’s a bird. What’s it doin? I think it’s digging for worms.”

We were walking in Forest Park in Queens and she spotted a cavity in a tree. She said, “Look at that hole. Who lives in there? Maybe a fox? Maybe a rabbit?” We investigated and found a spider web. A week later, we were walking in Pelham Bay Park in the Bronx and spotted another cavity. She said, “Let’s see who lives in that hole. Maybe a fox? Maybe a spider?” Sure enough, we found another spider web.

Take your threenager birding!